Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Why Maya Made Me Write

It’s been such a long time since I’ve blogged.  Too long.  Sometimes, I can get too critical of the process; wanting to somehow know what the other side of “this particular through” looks like.  Yearning to not be wrong in my perception of what God is doing.  I’m learning to relax. Learning that not having the answers is okay.  Learning that me writing is more me verbalizing my head on paper.  Getting it out. Encouraging others who may feel the same.  But today, Maya made me write again.

I found my eyes welling with tears when I heard of her passing.  I couldn’t believe I wanted to cry over her loss.  As I’m talking to myself, telling myself to get it together, I realized why.  With people like the Nelson Mandelas and the Maya Angelous leaving us, I think of my own grandmother who I’m blessed to still have in my life at 92 years young.  What an awesome testimony of grace, perseverance and quiet strength.  I look at her and often wish I had the grace she does.  I’m much more outspoken and raw. I’m put together, yet bursting at the seams if that makes sense.  She’s an educator, a matriarch, a picture of legacy, who will overflow in hysterical laughter with you while reminding you that the question you just posed ended with an unnecessary preposition.    And I’m now really crying. 

Because I don’t know y’all.  I just don’t know.  Does our generation get it? And while I’m far from  hating on the things that the Beyonces and the Angelina Jolie’s who in their own right regardless of their flaws are making a difference – they’re not making a Maya Angelou difference.  They’re not making a Nelson Mandela difference.  We are not making stands, waves, ripples, tides turn, for a cause greater than ourselves. 

I was just asking someone, what famous female role models do our girls have? And I’m not talking about Oprah and Michelle Obama.  I’m talking about between the ages of 20 and 40.  Where are they? I find myself feeling a burden for the girls and guys we teach weekly in our youth ministry.  A burden to provide hope; a bridge between cool and morality; hip and holy; unique yet inspirational.  But it’s hard, y’all.  And it’s hard because the Mayas are dying. 

So, this is my promise – ode to the generation of today – I promise to be the very best I can be. I promise to make stands when necessary; to think on the edge of the box; to live for a cause greater than myself.  And while I may never be famous; I promise to be famous in my community for integrity. I promise to not allow the fact that I will never be perfect to deter me from getting back on the bandwagon of hope for the change that I can affect right in front of my face! 

And while there will only be one Maya, one grandma full of grace, and one Nelson – there will also only be one you.  “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

Will you join me?