Why I Agree With Brelyn

Here’s why I agree with Brelyn. And it may not be as obvious as you think.

It’s been all over the news at this point.  Buzz Feed has covered it here, outlining some of the negative connotations that were associated with the bride, Brelyn Freeman (now Bowman) who received a certificate from her doctor stating that she was still a virgin, as her hymen had been examined.  She presented this certificate to her father, Dr. Mike Freeman, renowned Pastor of Spirit of Faith Christian Center  in Maryland, on her wedding day.  It was a covenant that she made before God and her father; one that she wanted to honor and did just that.

Many have wondered why her new husband Tim Bowman, Jr. , who is also a virgin, didn’t have to present anything, and they have been overly criticized to say the least.

Here are my thoughts. And why I know this world needs hope more than ever.

First, let me say that while my husband and I were not virgins when we met, we made a decision to remain celibate until marriage; a decision made based upon our relationship with God and our understanding of the scriptures as it pertains to fornication. My husband asked for my hand in marriage from my parents

My husband and I's first dance at our wedding: May 2007

out of respect for them and the high level of accountability that my family had and still does have that is rooted in love. It was by far one of the best decisions that I have ever made. God has allowed us to share our testimony to hundreds of teenagers and young adults over the years and it is an honor to have served God in that light.

And before you crucify me here – let me be clear. We have friends from all different walks of life. Some who love Jesus but chose to be intimate prior to marriage, some who lived together prior to marriage, some who had children prior to marriage, and there is nothing but love. Again, my husband and I made our decision based upon our love for one another and our love for God – which does not demean or lessen another’s love for one another even if they did things a different way. Our choice.

This leads me to their choice. 

While it may look like to some that my reasons for agreeing with her are my own personal choices and paths in life that seem similar in the foundation of our beliefs, that’s not solely the reason I agree with her. 

  1.       I agree with her because in a day and age     where role models are few and far and in  between – why not look up to someone who waited for marriage to encourage others that it’s possible?

  2.       I agree with her because in a day and time where people are making all kinds of choices and being celebrated, why can’t it be her choice to make?

3.       I agree with her because look at them: they are absolutely adorable! You can check out both of their twitter feeds (@brefree & @timbowmanjr) and you'll see love, fashion, travel, music, family, and God. What’s wrong with that? They present themselves relatable, not overly "churchy", and highly inspirational.

Brelyn & Tim Bowman

4.       I agree with her because I have a 7 year old girl and a 6 year old boy. And for any of us with children, whether we’ve made mistakes or seemed to have lived in what you deem perfection, deep down, you want this for your child.  I don’t care what walk of life you’ve come from. You don’t want them with sexually transmitted diseases, or having children out of wedlock, or touched inappropriately, or anything that could lead to overall heartache and heartbreak to come down their path.

So to everyone who said, what about the person who was raped? Or the person who was molested? Or the person who had unforeseen circumstances – that’s something that’s completely out of our control. And that was not the message here.  The message here was hope, purity, love, grace, and the power of God in a dying world. Try Him. You might like Him!

Congrats to Brelyn and Tim Bowman. Continue to #makejesusfamous